“I identify as ‘she/her’ and things like that, but I’ve never really felt like a girl,” said the pop star.

Billie Eilish‘s sexuality, self-expression and femininity have been scrutinized under a microscope since the pop star was a teenager. Now 21, she’s ready to talk about it.

In a new cover story for Variety published Monday (Nov. 13), the “Bad Guy” singer revealed that she’s both attracted to and intimidated by other women, with the publication writing that she’s struggled in the past to feel like a “girls girl.” “I’ve never really felt like I could relate to girls very well,” she told the outlet.

Billie Eilish attends the 2023 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Radhika Jones at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on March 12, 2023 in Beverly Hills, California. Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/ FilmMagic

“I love them so much,” she continued. “I love them as people. I’m attracted to them as people. I’m attracted to them for real … I’m physically attracted to them. But I’m also so intimidated by them and their beauty and their presence.”

Eilish has only ever been in public relationships with men, most recently The Neighbourhood’s Jesse Rutherford before their breakup in May. The musician has been the target of queerbaiting allegations in the past, something she addressed in a 2021 interview with Elle in which she said her sexuality was no one else’s business.

And although she penned the Grammy-nominated Barbie soundtrack hit “What Was I Made For?” — which inspired an empowering trend on social media celebrating individual experiences with womanhood — Eilish says she still struggles with her identity as a woman. “I’ve never felt like a woman, to be honest with you,” she said the Variety interview. “I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine.”

“I have to convince myself that I’m, like, a pretty girl,” she added. “I identify as ‘she/her’ and things like that, but I’ve never really felt like a girl.”